I recently realized that over four years ago, while I was in treatment for chemical dependency, my significant other stayed home alone with hardly anybody he could talk to about what he was going through.
This came up on a lecture I attended. The presenter made a point that while the patient is safe getting better, his or her loved one is left behind with very few options to deal with the grief that losing your spouse to addiction/alcoholism must cause.
That really made me reflect on how lucky I was to have had such a loving person in my life that supported me through my struggle to get clean and sober. I was still very sick at the time and didn’t appreciate the fact that he came over to see me and participate in family sessions a few times.
I was so incredibly demanding and thought that that was the natural thing for him to do. I didn’t know any better. I don’t think I even apologized for putting him through so much. I rationalized that I was doing living amends so I didn’t need to voice my contrition.
I did not try to keep to him hostage when he told me he wanted to end out relationship. I thought he had been through enough with me and that he deserved to be happy even if it wasn’t with me.
I cannot thank him enough for all the he has done and continues to do for me. I am a better person because I had him in my life. I often say the following prayer when I think of him,
May you be happy, may you have a long life, and may you find true love.