A friend of mine will be removed from life support today. His family has decided that after 19 days he has had enough. I think that’s what he would want too, he expressed as much in some of the conversations we’ve had in the past.
My friend has been on a medically induced coma since the beginning of this month. I took him to the emergency room on a Tuesday when he missed his CT scan appointment. He had been diagnosed with lymphoma the previous Friday. I was trying to help him as much as I could until that day when I found a meth pipe in his room.
I wasn’t even looking, I was retrieving some dishes that he had not been able to take to the kitchen and there it was, the proof that he had been on active addiction. I had suspected for a while that he was using but I didn’t have proof.
So I told him that he could either go to the emergency room or to treatment but that I could not allow him to remain under those conditions anymore. He chose to go the ER and got admitted immediately where he got diagnosed with pneumonia.
I didn’t have much hope that he was going to make it out of the hospital because he had to overcome the pneumonia and then get treatment for lymphoma. All of this makes me sad. This was all preventable but he neglected his health. He thought that if he ignored what was making him ill, it would go away but it rarely does.
He was a proud person, unable to ask for help. He wanted people to come to his rescue. I told him many times that I used to be like him, wanting people to read my mind and anticipate my every need. I learned in recovery that if I want to stay sober, I can save my face or my ass but not both at the same time.
That has been one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned. I must allow people to be of service and not rob them of that blessing. That’s how I must I think of it so that it’s easier for me to ask for help.
Today I get to go to the hospital to pay my respects to his family and say good bye to him. There by the grace of God go I…