I feel like I’m getting sober all over again. This time is not a chemical substance but a person. This person was my life partner for over a decade.
I admitted I am powerless over him and that my life had become unmanagable this Tuesday. I was at a meeting with my sponsor. He shared that everything he’s gone through in life, he’s shared with our home group. And then he tagged me to share next.
I was reluctant to talk about my break-up because I didn’t want anybody to know that I failed. At least that’s what my mind tells me, not only that I’ve failed but that I am a failure.
But I’ve learned that “I can’t save my ass and my face at the same time” so I had to tell my home group about the pain and hurt that’s in my heart. I knew that if I kept it a secret it would only become unbearable.
After the meeting was over, several people came over to give me a hug and comfort me with words filled with compassion and love. Surprisingly, they too have gone through what I’m going through!
I know I’m not a failure. I know that I’ll get through this with the help of God and my family of choice. I am a survivor. My challenge today is to not only survive but to thrive and enjoy life no matter what.
I used to always end my day giving thanks for everything that had happened that day. Now it’s a little bit harder to be grateful but I am. I am not denying the sorrow that’s come into my life but I refuse to stay down.
I’m not fully standing up yet but I am on my knees praying for the strength to face what’s to come. I’ve come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. I am turning my will and my life over to the care of God…
I don’t run the show anymore. I am taken care of and protected by a being who has my best interest at heart. I don’t have the whole picture but I have faith in He who does.
