I recently read that the purpose of giving a gift is for the person who receives it to enjoy it. I have been given the gift of life and until recently I had forgotten to enjoy it.
The perfectionist in me thinks that in order to enjoy life, I must first get my to-do-list under control, that I must look a certain way and behave like everything is fine.
The victim side of me thinks that I will only enjoy life when other people’s happiness stops conflicting with mine.
My intellectual persona wants me to only listen to him and believe that I can control and rationalize my thoughts and feelings.
This inner struggle for creating balance so that I can start enjoying life is fear in one of its many forms.
I can enjoy life NOW. I don’t have to wait for certain conditions to appear. I can choose to focus on what’s going well with my life and realize what a great life I have.
Choosing to believe that no matter what happens I’m going to be OK does not mean that I’m going to be spared from heartache. It only means that whatever suffering comes my way has a lesson that I must learn. Pain is the greatest teacher and sometimes my only motivator.
Life is a gift and it’s meant to be enjoyed now not “when” or “if”. I have been given a present and it’s rude not to enjoy it.